| 1.
I cut my teeth
on ninja stars and martial knives
his love was war,
I couldn't draw lines
it was a never-ending surrender
we tore each other down
we bled, raw & vulnerable
when the dust cleared,
we both wore scars pressed into our skin
like thin chains and semi-precious stones
you ate into me
(the irreplaceable part)
2.
I feigned innocence on the couch
computer screen throwing its blue glow over him
brother of impulse,
my mind a maze filled with fog
the no's intertwined
what happened was reactionary
completely unavoidable
you were a mistake I never paid for
(no one ever found out)
3.
I remember a split thigh
the taste of silver & quivering gold
nights created from strings of bubbles,
concrete stairs & a four-four beat
the broken cars stood silent in the lot
shades of resistance radiated
like sundials around our heads
you were a rule made to be violated
(the repercussions were dangerous)
4.
I became an expert metaphor
a Satellite that turned into a Mirror
something to be gently persuaded
he existed inside the desperate world
of white fences, grass carpets,
and red lights flickering on the horizon
with the mercury water
shivering uneasily before us
(you were something I had to unlearn)
5.
I slipped into him;
a cloud of feathers, a soft sinewy mass
of bored contemplation, filled
with an acute feeling of "Lost"
we had a night cut from wax
a lenient melting;
the clock's face reddening, silent
the room turned gray
and we were the only things in color
you touched my arm the next day
(and said "please" with your eyes)
6.
I gave him my truth in error
but his love was exquisite & intoxicating
afterwards, it stung like acid
in an open wound
(you made my heart drop)
7.
I was confused:
an incident without light occurred
weighty and confusing
it collapsed slowly and became an antithesis
to all the mistakes I usually make
I walked into his room & left without ever seeing his eyes
just the outline of his face against the glowing white wall
there was no expansive sky
with crystal-cut stars that we lay under
instead, we remained pressed
between a mattress & the ceiling
your mouth was like a pillow
(I enjoyed your company)
| 